Imperfect Progress Titles

A few weeks ago I picked up Freefall to Fly for my morning time with the Lord and part of this study is a journal at the end of each lesson.  The below is excepts from yesterday’s journal, cleaned up a bit.

Last night at the FOCUS conference God showed up. I mean, He’s always there. But it was a unique experience. During the first set of music I started crying. (This is becoming a common theme with music and I haven’t decided how I feel about it, crying is new territory for me.)

Why are you crying? I asked, a bit annoyed but also glad for the darkness that no one could see me. It’s been a hard week, came the response from my soul. My mind rolled over the challenges of the week and my heart began to ache. No one thing in isolation would have been devastating, but enough difficult weeks have strung together and I’m getting weary.

Suddenly I had this inexplicable sensation of being wrapped up in God’s arms, as a little girl cuddling with her daddy. And I just wept for a whole song. Then it was gone.

Chris preached and then the music started again. Toward the end of the 2^nd to last song I asked God, “When do I stop getting hit?”

I haven’t given you tomorrow’s strength yet.

“But how many more times do I get knocked down? I can endure, I just want to know how much more.” I was whining but God was so present and I really wanted answers.

I give enough strength for today.

“But when?”

No answer. Just then it shifted to the last song and it kicked off with a declaration that God returns and wins and every enemy is defeated.

And the tears came again. God is with me and He hasn’t abandoned me or left me desolate. He’s stronger than any darkness and more powerful than any struggle.

I hope this is over. I hope I don’t lose anything else or get “hit” again. But if I do, I’m not alone. And God will walk with me through the storm.

Texas is being hit by a hurricane and last night while I was at FOCUS people were flooding the grocery stores stocking up to prepare. But I pay someone else to shop and cook for me so I hadn’t thought about it. I just opened my freezer when I got home and found it full of food.

God is like that. I can go stock up on canned chili and bottled water. But He’s prepared all the delicious, healthy food I could need. And every day my portion is there waiting. He asks me “do you want my food of peace or will you go make your own of fear and striving?”

Today I choose peace. If I get “hit” again then I will look to Him and I will rise. One day at a time, one step at a time, I will walk out my destiny.