Imperfect Progress Titles

I have so much to be thankful for.

The company I work for isn’t perfect. Some days I imagine the changes I would make if I was Site Lead for a day. Some days I kick around what it would be like to quit and pursue my dream of writing full time. Some days I picture just standing up and walking out because the stress starts to get to me. To be honest, though, basically that’s been every job in my entire life; no company or job is ever perfect.

But the job I have is unbelievably perfect for me and for this season. The hours are reasonable, and the work is in line with my skills and talents. The pay is fair, and I have a degree of control of my income since I always have the option to work harder and earn more.

Because of my job, I was financially able to take a month of unpaid leave to help my family last April. Insight’s generous vacation policy has meant I’ve had the opportunity to take days off to mentally recharge. My coworkers rallied around me with cards and flowers and asking how they could help. My team took a day off work to help clean out my parent’s house and prepare it for the market. The In It Together Foundation was there to help cover some of the unexpected costs of a second funeral.

I also have the blessing to work with some amazing coworkers, customers, and partners who have become more than colleagues; they have become friends. Many sent flowers and cards or have taken me out to lunches. One of my customers even sent me a massage gift certificate and, just yesterday, one sent me a ticket to see Star Wars the day after it opens.

I’m blessed indeed to have the opportunity to work where I work with the people I have on my team, as partners, and as customers.

The church I go to isn’t perfect either. Honestly, I am not a fan of loud music and it took a long time to get used to going to a church where people wear shorts. I was raised on hymns and wearing dresses to church. Sometimes I think about the changes I would make if I ran the church and how I think things should be done. (There’s nothing easier than being a critic, especially when I’m not responsible for anything I am complaining about.)

And it’s be a hard year with my church. I walked through a community group slowly dissolving and spent many weeks wondering what I had done wrong that I couldn’t keep it together. I have had heated discussions about what I think is the role of women in ministry. There were several times I was ready to throw in the towel and go find a new church.

But here’s the thing… my church is exactly what I need. I am blessed to go to a church that loves people, loves the Word, and is passionate about impacting people, the community, and the world. I have been to churches before where everyone is happy with the status quo and no one really rocks the boat. I’ve been in churches so large that you have every ministry you could possibly want… but none of the staff really know your name. My church is very alive and is growing. There’s always friction when there is motion, but we are moving in the right direction.

As hurtful as it was to feel I have failed to hold a community group together (and I already know it’s not my fault… you don’t need to comment), I have had many great women from our church that have come along side me this year. In my current season, I have pulled back, afraid of community. I am not in a community group, only to have amazing women, like Ranae and Julie, say, “If you won’t come to us then we will come to you.”

My church is also seeing prayers be answered and dreams come true as we excitedly look forward to moving into a permanent space on January 1^st. Many doors will be opened for more ministries to grow and flourish as we will now have space to contain them.

I am blessed to call Wells Branch Community Church home and have so much to be thankful for.

My mentors and I have not always seen eye to eye and there are times I don’t want to hear what they have to say. On several occasions this year I have even taken offense (where none was intended) and other times that I have pulled away out of shame or fear that I am being judged.

No matter how many mistakes I have made this year and no matter how many times I have failed to make good decisions, none of my mentors have judged me or quit on me. It’s been their constant voice of encouragement that has helped me wash my face, get back up, and keep fighting.

I am blessed to have such amazing mentors in my life who truly care about me and call me forward.

This has been a hard year for my family. Everyone knows about the loss of my parents and it can feel like we live in a glass house now. My siblings and I, as much as we love each other, have had disagreements this year that have made me question how we will stay together without parents to be the “anchor.”

But I am so blessed to have the family that I have. Our personalities couldn’t be more different but each one of us is healthy, mature, and responsible. Besides, it is our differences that make us strong.

I blessed to have an older brother who is strong in a gentle way. He took leadership when Dad died. He has continued to work through the sale of a house and motorhome, the settling of an estate, and trying to squeeze in time with his girlfriend… all while taking a full course load in graduate school. Matt is not the “get out of my way” leader I would have been that just runs over people. He led, but did it in a way that slowed down and allowed everyone to be involved in decisions.

I am blessed with a younger brother who has allowed Matt to lead and yet has always been there to lend a hand. When the winds from the hurricane in Houston knocked down fences and branches at my parent’s house, Russell jumped right to it and had everything taken care of immediately. We have had a lot of lunches and it has been such a blessing this year to really get to know Russell more than I have I ever really known him before.

I am blessed with a sister who, different as we are, has never stopped loving me. (She literally just sent me a message that she loves me.) Cassie endured the most trauma when mom died, finding her and being unable to revive her. Then having to call each of us back home after we had just left while dealing with police and paramedics. And she handled all of it with so much strength.

Difficult as this year has been for my family, we have so much to be thankful for and it’s in meditating on those things that I can say with confidence that the best is yet to come. The time for thinking short term has ended and now it is time to excitedly dream for the future.

Happy Thanksgiving.